Current Mood: Oh Lately It’s So Quiet

Oh lately its so quiet in this place
Oh darling if you’re not here haunting me
I’m wondering
Whose house are you haunting tonight?

It’s dark, but for the faint glow from my clock, telling me just how sleepless I’ve been. Everything’s quiet without you here, like the world’s holding its breath, waiting to sigh in relief when I finally fall asleep. My brain keep buzzing with questions and thoughts, too loud to shut out, and I stay awake to wonder about the obscurities of the universe.

Do ghosts get lonely? What’s an atom actually look like? Does the dark side of the moon look any different?

I shake my head, flinging thoughts across the room as I huff out a sigh and roll over, tugging the covers up under my chin, slamming my head into the pillow to carve out a place for my cheek against the soft pillowcase. The fan spreads whispering breezes through the room as I close my eyes and force my thoughts to into submission.

Where are they all right now?

I snap my eyes open and take a few deep breaths, reminding myself that it’s none of my business whose house is being haunted, because they have their own lives. I breathe again, deeper, release it slowly, close me eyes and tell my brain to go to sleep.

I realize how cold it is, and wonder why I’m never warm. The bed feels massive, even though it shouldn’t, and I feel like I’ll be swallowed by the solitude. I pull my pillows in a little closer, curl in on myself a little tighter, hug my bear a bit nearer to my chest.

I breathe in, breathe out, pretend I don’t care about the silence. There’s music in the background, but it’s not enough to drown out the ringing in my ears from a lack of voices and buzzing phones: messages waiting to be answered and calls that beg to be connected. I tell myself that it’s alright, that space is nice and I’ve got to learn how to be my own person anyway.

When they ask how I’m doing, I have a response:

Lately, well… Lately it’s been quiet.

Song of the Day: Oh Lately It’s So Quiet by Ok Go

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